The thing about 31 Oct
One year ago, i signed on a doted line to be appointed.. i had many warnings, i had some well wishes, and there on, i accepted a job that was deemed difficult, i was determined to overcome the difficulties, to experience the problems and ride through the storm, i was also quietly confident that i could make some changes for the better, no matter how minor..
one year on, the flames of determination is sadly missing.. i have tried and i have conformed.. the passion is lower, the drive, lesser... i still speak the opposing voice once in a while, but the results have not been delivered..
speaking to one of my guys last week sort of gave an even broader perspective, perharps like him, i have under-performed, we could have done more, if not for the unhappiness at how things are. Instead of focusing on the sunshine and making hay, we choose to face up to darkness and try to bring light... end of the day, we have almost nothing to show, the darkness still creeps and there don't seem to be enough hay by our standards..
he will not have a chance to try again, but i have a job here, i can try again.. but once more, i question the point of trying, should i just make hay while the shadow engulfs the sunshine and threaten light? Or maybe i'm just thinking too much.. too pessimisstic, too negative
for the guy, colleague and friend, i wish him well, wish that this journey will form part of his memory and provide some insight into the way things can and should be done.. i would not discourage his passion for changing, change is good when it is necessary.. "you have done what you can, build on that, it is better than nothing at all, thank you for all your hard work, friendship and support, it has not gone to waste, and i wish you well for your future"
for myself, i sometimes wonder if i am changing myself to suit the place, or would there ever be a better place for me, i know my future lies elsewhere, but getting there would mean another 700-odd days in this place.. i hope i'll survive
One year and counting.. for what?
one year on, the flames of determination is sadly missing.. i have tried and i have conformed.. the passion is lower, the drive, lesser... i still speak the opposing voice once in a while, but the results have not been delivered..
speaking to one of my guys last week sort of gave an even broader perspective, perharps like him, i have under-performed, we could have done more, if not for the unhappiness at how things are. Instead of focusing on the sunshine and making hay, we choose to face up to darkness and try to bring light... end of the day, we have almost nothing to show, the darkness still creeps and there don't seem to be enough hay by our standards..
he will not have a chance to try again, but i have a job here, i can try again.. but once more, i question the point of trying, should i just make hay while the shadow engulfs the sunshine and threaten light? Or maybe i'm just thinking too much.. too pessimisstic, too negative
for the guy, colleague and friend, i wish him well, wish that this journey will form part of his memory and provide some insight into the way things can and should be done.. i would not discourage his passion for changing, change is good when it is necessary.. "you have done what you can, build on that, it is better than nothing at all, thank you for all your hard work, friendship and support, it has not gone to waste, and i wish you well for your future"
for myself, i sometimes wonder if i am changing myself to suit the place, or would there ever be a better place for me, i know my future lies elsewhere, but getting there would mean another 700-odd days in this place.. i hope i'll survive
One year and counting.. for what?
posted by klayhead at 7:44 pm
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