395: Interest

Something should be really wrong if the GM needs to sit me down to talk it out.. as it seems, he now holds the impression that something is really wrong with me and that i gave him the feel that i'm not interested in my work..

is that really the case?

Have i really lost interest in my work?

It was a question i didn't answer over work, it was a question that perhaps i'm sure of an answer, or perhaps its an answer that i'm not prepared to face as yet..

somewhat, i feel that i have little left to learn in my current capacity? does that mean that i have perfected my craft and thus nothing more needs to be learnt? It seems more of a case that i'm sick of the coordination work that i'm running and the lack of thinking that stems out from my job.. perhaps that's why i'm not performing to his standards.. because i care less about certain areas of my work now than i used to, than i should..

this seems to be heading down a really difficult path.. how will i survive this bad patch? will misfortunate strike again before i pick myself up? am i restricting my fightback because to some extent i know that the criticism that i recieved is not fully unwarranted? am i being picked on since i was once held in high regard by the same person who sat me down to talk now?

yes, i'm sick of all these unanswered questions.. maybe i'm not even trying to answer them now... as monday looms, i just hope things will turn out well.. till then.. till then then..

Post 394

394 is about gossip, office gossip as i wait for my hair to get dryer before heading to bed..

my day ended really late today as i was waiting for the PR girls to send out the photos to ST by tonight in time for tomorrow's run.. a 10.30pm deadline got stretch to 11.30pm and i left office close to midnight after shutting down the entire office and waiting for my cab to arrive.. my cabby, of all days, had to choose today to drive to the wrong taxi point when my usual Press "1" states clearly its GIANT drop off point.. damn

as it is..i promised some gossips in hope of maintaining the feeble readership that i still manage to hang on to and hope that more people will start commenting on post to make the writer feel more alive!

the new senior executive that is not so new now happens to be my neighbour in office.. and for someone relatively new, she has managed to piss of quite a few of us and you know she can be really pesky when even the GM feels harassed by her.. let me get this straight, she's pesky because she likes to bug you about work, she will ask you questions looking for answers she don't need to know, or answers she should already expect.. there's no point chasing me for the same thing 5 minutes apart.. i don't have time to check and you are certaintly not on my list of priority.. i know you want to get your things done but every task has a place in the food chain, my tasks included, much less yours.. multiply the same pesky-ness by a few executives and a few seniors and i guess we pretty much have a picture of how thing's like..

the sian-ness in office is also getting ... more sian.. haha.. i'm not alone when i say i'm sian and i believe that i'm part of a bigger group either waiting for some miracle to happen or some phone call to come our way for interview.. the only problem being that while i have shortlisted some potential jobs out there, i haven't actually sent anything out.. so there goes.. No Action Talk Only.. i suck

on the home front, renovation seems almost complete and the final pieces of the jigsaw will come together as we head towards the 10th day of the 12th month of the year.. house-warming will have to wait for most of you reading this blog as some dates have been pre-booked by wifey and our house is simply not big enough for everyone at the same time and on top of that, weekends are precious moments with the little one and we need to cherish every moment, on top of work commitments, weekend duties, cleaning up the new place and getting things in order..

quite a bit going on there uh?

keep yourself warm for the housewarming yeah, you should hear from me soon.. i hope. haha.. make some noise here if you don't.. i read this page much more than any of you, that i'm sure..

good nite

Of Hard times

Maybe i'm supposed to know but i don't know, maybe i'm supposed to fix it but i can't.. things just don't seem to go right at the moment..

working at the same place for over 10mths now, i'm lacking the motivation to carry on, i'm sick of the things i need to do on a daily basis and i'm sick of the things that's going on above me, above him, beside me, around me.. things SUCKS.

i used to like what i did with my current workplace as a service provider and i still liked what i did as i joined the company.. i enjoyed doing what i could do well in and i'm sick and tired of looking back and remembering what i enjoyed instead of actually enjoying what i'm doing..

has the change in management really changed things so much?

has the change in my life and family dynamics really changed me so much?

even as i type this i'm getting sick of thinking about this problems that i'm forced to look at on a daily basis.. sometimes it just seems like my mind enters a period of neverending overdrive and its sucking the freaking energy out of me..

back home, i look forward to the presence of 2 persons that can mend the day, but that too becomes hard when i can hardly be back early and i end up not doing things i said i'll do, i end up not being able to buy things that i really needed to get because the shop is already closed when i finally get there..

so what's going on now? am i really the person that i seem to be now? am i a poor performer both at work and home? am i dependent on my past reputation to back me up?

I wish i can stop thinking about this things, but most of the time, this shit just keep coming back into my head..

I hate to say this.. but it seems like i'm farked..

Post-Edit: Just as i'm done publishing this post.. 2 SMS from my manager came in, the time now is 11.07pm.. work NEVER ends does it? uh? uh?

Of Happy

Happiness needs few words.

Arsenal 3-0 Tottenham

Of Competition

Some lunch duty nonsense at work is being translated to time for the mind to wander instead of focusing on work completion..

Long long ago in a land far far away, there was a rich family who controlled many businesses on an island. The rich family was headed by a stubborn old man and this old man had 2 daughters: Sindy and Stacy.

One day, old man decided to let Sindy and Stacy run part of his business, the coconut business. The problem is, the island which the old man made his fortune on didn't have any coconuts, so coconuts where bought from another island and sold for a profit here..

Old man allowed both Sindy and Stacy to sell coconuts as he didn't want to interfere with "market forces''. As time goes, the main coconut wholeseller became smarter, he stopped selling to both sindy and stacy and ask them to bid for the whole batch of coconut for a 3 year period.. In the first year, stacy won the bid and was doing good business. Sindy still survived as she sold other less popular drinks.

Forward to year 2010 and Stacy's deal with the coconut seller is expiring. Sindy made a huge bid that Stacy could not match and thus Stacy could no longer sell coconuts. Residents of the tiny island became worried as they are so used to buying coconuts from Stacy.. they knew too they Stacy would charge them more for the coconuts as she spent alot of money getting the deal from the coconut seller..

With all this happening, the old man who gave the capital to both Stacy and Sindy to start their business looks on and decides not to interfere.. ultimately, he argued, there are free to decide how much to bid and sell their coconuts for.. BUT.. if the old man had been smarter, neither Sindy nor Stacy would need to pay so much for the coconuts in the first place..

This is the island where the old man creates competition that does not benefit Sindy nor Stacy and definitely not the residents who enjoy having coconut..

Back to reality and a totally unrelated incident which happened a few months back. Singtel won the rights to the next 3 season of English Premiership Football and incumbent Starhub disappoint fans who are currently on their football package.

Will fans have to pay for more since Singtel entered a high price bid for the football?

I'm not interested to find out.. on to the net for 10/11 season then

390

Post 390

Has it been that long and that many post already?

If you are one who bothers checking in on a somewhat relevant basis, i really appreciate it cause more of the time, it feels like no one is reading.. no comments, no post on the cbox, nothing..

No i'm not depressed, so don't worry.. in fact, there's quite a bit of excitement and anxiety of another milestone in life that could and should happen this saturday.. it takes abit of everything to come together nicely and after that, there will be other things to worry about..Haa.

While i have also been using Debit cards only, my first credit card was actually something that the wifey got for me, a s

upplementary case just in case something really crops up and i need that lifeline.. then as time went and dining privileges, amongst others, become more attractive, it becomes inevitable that i would start to apply for one.. being in a job that actually qualifies me for a credit card helps too.. this is afterall my 1st job as a degree holder and my earlier diploma-level jobs didn't pay me that well and my bonuses were negliable as i move around 3 places searching for experience.

With food on my mind, it was somewhat fitting that my first card is associated with one of my favourite dining place, to top it off, the place also gives me a pleasant buzz when i move from one area to another, thinking about what i could buy to fit into my home..

My first card: