Of Hard times

Maybe i'm supposed to know but i don't know, maybe i'm supposed to fix it but i can't.. things just don't seem to go right at the moment..

working at the same place for over 10mths now, i'm lacking the motivation to carry on, i'm sick of the things i need to do on a daily basis and i'm sick of the things that's going on above me, above him, beside me, around me.. things SUCKS.

i used to like what i did with my current workplace as a service provider and i still liked what i did as i joined the company.. i enjoyed doing what i could do well in and i'm sick and tired of looking back and remembering what i enjoyed instead of actually enjoying what i'm doing..

has the change in management really changed things so much?

has the change in my life and family dynamics really changed me so much?

even as i type this i'm getting sick of thinking about this problems that i'm forced to look at on a daily basis.. sometimes it just seems like my mind enters a period of neverending overdrive and its sucking the freaking energy out of me..

back home, i look forward to the presence of 2 persons that can mend the day, but that too becomes hard when i can hardly be back early and i end up not doing things i said i'll do, i end up not being able to buy things that i really needed to get because the shop is already closed when i finally get there..

so what's going on now? am i really the person that i seem to be now? am i a poor performer both at work and home? am i dependent on my past reputation to back me up?

I wish i can stop thinking about this things, but most of the time, this shit just keep coming back into my head..

I hate to say this.. but it seems like i'm farked..

Post-Edit: Just as i'm done publishing this post.. 2 SMS from my manager came in, the time now is 11.07pm.. work NEVER ends does it? uh? uh?

Of Happy

Happiness needs few words.

Arsenal 3-0 Tottenham